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Top 10 reasons why I want to be on the David Letterman show: Number 10 I'll get paid money. Number 9 I can flirt with some of the Beautiful woman and get their phone numbers Call them up and let them take me out for dinner and let them pay for everything. Number 8 I can freak everyone out by playing my one chord song. Number 7 To start a clique of kazoo fanatics. Number 6 I'll be able to stay at an expensive hotel, watch cable TV, stay up late, and lose lots of sleep. Number 5 Some big time record producer will discover me, and hire me to record a CD or tape which will sell so well I won't have to do anything but eat food and get fat like Elvis. Number 4 So that companies will hire me to do commercials, so that I can support things I don't believe in Number 3 I'll be able to make a total fool out of myself in front of millions of TV viewers all across America , Europe and all over the world by tripping over my guitar and breaking it before I even play one note and then going over and greeting David Letterman as Conan O'Brian. Number 2 After I become famous from my appearance on the David Letterman show, I run for a political office and misuse government funds And the Number 1 reason why I want to be on the David Letterman show is so I'll be invited to be on Life Styles of The Rich and Famous and show everyone how I'm foolishly spending the money I made on stupid things that are over priced |