Hi I'm The Next gonna be the next President
I'm a candidate running
and I just want to say I'm not perfect
and there's a lot of woman out there that I don't remember there names
and they're really pretty
and they treat me really nice
and then all of a sudden their angry at me
because I didn't remember their names or I don't have a lot of money.
I just want to say to them I think they're nice any how
and I'm not God or perfect
and that's why I'm a good choice because I'm honest
and I'm telling you this now

Darling the glasses are plastic
Champagne is imported from Chicago
Darling the glasses are plastic
Your hairs all done all up with 16 layers of hairspray
you got from a can out of the garbage

Your earings are dime store brass
Your dress is polyester
Your earings are dime store brass
I'm wearing an expensive suit I got at goodwill for a dollar

Darling the glasses are tin
Champagne is imported from Fitchburg
Darling the glasses are tine
Your wearing some perfume that you borrowed from the Avon Lady

We're eating caviar from a TV dinner
We're watching a romantic movie on the neighbor's TV though their window
We're eating caviar from a TV dinner
I love you, I want to marry you here's a ring I got from a crackerjack box
I love you, I want to marry you here's a ring I got from a crackerjack box