Top 10 reasons why I want to be on the David Letterman show:

Number 10
I'll get paid money.

Number 9
I can flirt with some of the Beautiful woman and get their phone numbers
Call them up and let them take me out for dinner
and let them pay for everything.

Number 8
I can freak everyone out by playing my one chord song.

Number 7
To start a clique of kazoo fanatics.

Number 6
I'll be able to stay at an expensive hotel, watch cable TV, stay up late,
and lose lots of sleep.

Number 5
Some big time record producer will discover me,
and hire me to record a CD or tape which will sell so well
I won't have to do anything but eat food and get fat like Elvis.

Number 4
So that companies will hire me to do commercials,
so that I can support things I don't believe in

Number 3
I'll be able to make a total fool out of myself
in front of millions of TV viewers all across America , Europe
and all over the world by tripping over my guitar and breaking it
before I even play one note and then going over
and greeting David Letterman as Conan O'Brian.

Number 2
After I become famous from my appearance on the David Letterman show,
I run for a political office and misuse government funds

And the Number 1 reason why I want to be on the David Letterman show
is so I'll be invited to be on Life Styles of The Rich and Famous
and show everyone how I'm foolishly spending the money I made
on stupid things that are over priced