When I buy my mansion
I'll invite the world to stay
So everyone can see
A picture of Dorian Gray

We'll sit by the river
Drinking lemon tea
With a thousand midget russians
In midget submarines

And you can come and stay (o-oh!)
And you can bring all of your friends (o-oh!)
And you can come and stay (o-oh!)
For a day
To see a picture of Dorian Gray (x2)

And I'll bring you to my mansion
To see my gallery
And there's lots of pretty pictures
All of them of me, all of them of me

We'll sit by the river
Drinking lemon tea
With tiny cucumber sandwiches
Made by a girl called Emily

And you can come and stay (o-oh!)
And you can bring all of your friends (o-oh!)
And you can come and stay (o-oh!)
For a day
To see a picture of Dorian Gray (x13)