Hey mister,
where you headed?
Are you in a hurry?
I need a lift to happy hour.
Say oh no

Do you break for distilled spirits?
I need a break as well.
The well that inebristes the guilt.
1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Cold turkey's getting stale,
tonight I'm eating crow.
Fermented salmonella poison oak no

There's a drought at the fountain of youth,
and now I'm dehydrating.
My tounge is swelling up,
as say 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Troubled times,
you know I cannot lie.
I'm off the wagon
and I'm hitchin' a ride.

There's a drought at the fountain of youth,
and now I'm dehydrating.
My tounge is swelling up,
I say shit!