Did you ever hear the one about?

Oh, God I love myself when I've got it on
I know, I'll live forever, babe, all my fears are gone
Then suddenly I'm dyin', they turned the laugh track off
I'm drownin' in the silence, crucified by coughs

Oh, I am the Laugh Man, half clown and half man
Half out and half in, mister can't you see?
I'm supposed to leave you laughin'
Why don't you laugh at me?

I started out by starvin', desperate for money
My belly crackin' dirty jokes that didn't come out funny
My neck stuck out so far like a gawky giraffe
Screamin' on a guillotine,"Come on, sucker, laugh"

Oh, I am the Laugh Man, half clown and half man
Half out and half in, mister can't you see?
I'm supposed to leave you laughin'
So why don't you laugh at me?

Oh I'm the guy who always catches the pie
I specialize in pratfalls
I am the goon who flashes the moon
A mouse in a house of catcalls

I'm your jester your juggler, your joker, your friend
I'm nothin' more or less than a horse's nether end
My ego is a bubble that I realize just broke
And alone without a microphone, my real life's a joke

Oh, I am the Laugh Man, half clown and half man
Half out and half in, mister can't you see?
I'm supposed to leave you laughin'
So why don't you laugh at me?

Oh, I'm supposed to leave you laughin'
So why don't you laugh at me?

Did you ever hear the one about?