I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
Then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends
I said, "I'm sick and tired of winter, and I wish that it was spring."
Then a little fella named Robin Redbreast began to sing
and he sang,

"Ooh ooh child, what'd ya think the cold winter's gonna last forever?
Ooh ooh child, now's the time for all the people to get together
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May, First of May
Outdoor fuckin' starts today
So bring your favorite lady
or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see ya in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate Spring with a crazy little thing called
Fuckin' outside"

I thanked him for the information,
I cried a little when he flew away
Watched an episode of The People's Court
and I tried to plan my day
I called up my old lady
She wasn't home, so I called my girl
I asked her if she'd like to join me as I
entertain the world
And I said,

"Ooh ooh, child, I'll bring a blanket
and I promise I will brush the ants off
Ooh ooh, child, you're gonna like it
when we're takin' each other's pants off
Outside"

Cause it's the First of May, First of May
Outdoor fuckin' starts today
So bring your favorite lady
or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see ya in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate Spring with a crazy little thing called
Fuckin' outside

So we went to the park together
We were walking in the midday sun
We met all kinds of people and we
we fucked everyone
We fucked a lady who sells ice cream
We fucked a man with a tan Sharpei
Everyone who needed fucking, well, they
They got fucked today
So come on,

Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart,
Feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh ooh child, you'll feel the warmth of the love
When I stick it to you
Outside

Cause it's the First of May, First of May
Outdoor fuckin' starts today
So bring your favorite lady
or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see ya in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate Spring with a crazy little thing called
Fuckin' outside
Fuckin' outside
Fuckin' outside