If I wasn't me, but a different sort of chap
What a romeo I'd be
I'd be able to see it's an awful handicap
When a guy's as shy as me
What happiness might come my way
If I could just speak up and say

I'll bet I could work wonders, seems too good to be true
I could be a 'b' marvel if I had a girl like you
Single handed I'd rescue ship and captain and crew
I'd be number one hero if I had a girl like you

I'd spend my leisure finding hidden treasure
No one could measure the things that I do
In the stormiest weather I could eat a pie stew
I'd become a real sailor if I had a girl like you

I could do without moonlight and give the stars a rest too
I'd be warm in a snowstorm if I had a girl like you
All the radio programmes would be strictly taboo
They could keep their old brains trust if I had a girl like you

I'd never long for meals they ring a gong for
The shows they throng for I never would view, I'm telling you
I'd have pennies from heaven, I could live in a shoe
They could take me clothes coupons if I had a girl like you