When I saw you standing there
In your lacy underwear
I knew I was in the ladies' dressing room

And now I've seen it all
And they kicked me out of the mall
But it was wonderful

Now we've got a lot to talk about
Yeah, yeah, but when we're hanging out
Always seems like you're having a cow

'Cause I love you
I love you
I love you
But you're standing on my foot

There's got to be some way
For you and me to act our age
And maybe make a change

Where will we be next year
Still sitting here and drinking beer
And watching Mr. Belvedere

And I know it's not much of a life
You're in color I'm in black and white
But we play Parcheesi every Saturday night
And that's all right

'Cause I love you
I love you
I love you
But you're standing on my foot
Yeah, yeah

And you were wearing your hat that said
God, guts, and guns made America free
Let's keep all three

And you were smiling
But I could see your disappointment and
A piece of something green stuck between your teeth

I said I'm so impressed
You said surely you jest
I said yes

But stop calling me Shirley
But stop calling me Shirley
But stop calling me Shirley
It's not my name

I love you
I love you
I love you
But you're standing on my foot

I love you
But you're standing on my foot
Yeah, yeah