Servants Poor Professor Higgins!
Poor Professor Higgins! Night and day
He slaves away! Oh, poor Professor Higgins!
All day long On his feet,
Up and down until he's numb,
Doesn't rest, Doesn't eat,
Doesn't touch a crumb! Poor Professor Higgins!
Poor Professor Higgins! On he plods Against all odds,
Oh, poor Professor Higgins! Nine p.m. Ten p.m.
On through midnight ev'ry night.

One a.m. Two a.m. Three! Quit, Professor Higgins!
Quit, Professor Higgins! Hear our plea
Or payday we Will quit, Professor Higgins!
Ay not I, O not Ow, Pounding pounding in our brain.
Ay not I, O not Ow, Don't say "Rine," say "Rain"

Eliza The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!
Henry By George, she's got it! By George, she's got it!
Now, once again where does it rain? Eliza On the plain!
On the plain! Henry And where's that soggy plain?
Eliza In Spain! In Spain! The three

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! Henry
In Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire?
Eliza Hurricanes hardly happen.

How kind of you to let me come! Henry
Now once again, where does it rain?
Eliza On the plain! On the plain! Henry
And where's that blasted plain?
Eliza In Spain! In Spain! The three
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!