If i die and go to hell real soon
it will appear to me as... this room
if for enternity i lay in bed
in my boxers half stoned with the pillow under my head

i'd be chatting on the interweb
maggots pray upon the living dead
i had no interest in the things she said
on the phone every day
i'll permanently hit the hay

i called her on the phone and she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself

i called her on the phone
and she touched herself
i laughed myself to sleep

at this rate
i'll be heading for electric chairs
i'm only human with my cross to bear

when she described her underwear
i forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old school

you're too young to be this empty girl
i'll prepare you for this sick dark world
know that you'll be my downfall

but i call and i call and i call

i called her on the phone and she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself

i called her on the phone
and she touched herself
i laughed myself to sleep

i don't know what i want
i don't know what i want
i don't know what i want
i don't know what i want
i don't know what i want (i met you on the internet)
i don't know what i want (i met you on the internet)
i don't know what i want (i met you on the internet)

i called her on the phone and she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself
she touched herself

i called her on the phone
and she touched herself
i laughed myself to sleep

woah!
i called her on the phone and she touched herself
she touched herself she touched herself
she touched herself

i called her on the phone
and she touched herself
i laughed myself to sleep