(Cy Coben)

I wouldn't treat my dog like you treat me babe
I wouldn't treat my dog like you treat me
If I made my dog cry like you made me cry yesterday
The neighbors all would go and call the ASPCA.

I wouldn't hurt my dog like you hurt me babe
I wouldn't say those mean old things to him
If I push my little hound the way you push me around
A fightin' bitin' mean old dog would be babe
But I wouldn't treat my dog like you treat me.

--- Instrumental ---

I wouldn't treat my dog like you treat me babe
At least I've taken out once in a while
I wouldn't pet another dog if he was standing there
I'd hug him and I'd kiss him and I'd let him know I care.

I'd give him love and kindness all the time babe
And he'd pace me back with loyalty
Though he'll just right be oh gee he's got feelings to you see
And I wouldn't treat my dog like you treat me, babe.

No, I wouldn't treat my dog like you treat me...