I'm writing 'young and gifted' in my autobiography,
I figure who would know better than me?
I'm certainly the former,
but I'm not so much the latter.
But no one's gonna read it,
so I'm sure it doesn't matter.

When you find that you're the former,
take pride in how you form.
And when you find that you're the latter,
don't let those people walk under you.

I'm writing 'sharp and adult' with my finger on the steam
on the mirror in my bathroom and I'm applying shaving cream,
which would suggest that I'm the foamer.
But how can I be the lather?
When something tells me it's the opposite I'd rather.

When you find that you're the foamer,
be careful what you foam.
And when you find that you're the lather,
don't shave too high, you'll regret it later.

I stayed in school this long but still no one will tell me why,
they figured 'who would know better than I?'
I know I'm a conformer, but I'm sure it doesn't matter,
my new friends are all adults,
and my old friends all have scattered.

When you find you're a conformer,
take pride and swallow whole.
But if you're trying to climb the ladder,
don't let people walk over you,
because that's just what they'll do.
Don't let people walk over you,
because that's just what they'll do.