The blimholes in my shellsuit
Joined into an absolute
And fell apart one day
They stitched me up in Everton
Then they took me to a surgeon
Lost on penalties

Mario man...

I married at the altar
The village idiot's daughter
Oh lucky me
We honeymooned in Cyprus
That's where she caught the virus
I flew home alone
So I bought myself a chip pan
And I sailed it to the Isle of Man
For a holiday
Struggling in the vortex
With my jacket made of Goretex
It fits wonderfully

Mario man...

Zap, zap
Wham, wham
Says the Mario man today
He's played so hard he's got blisters on his fingers...

Mario man...