We were driving to Birmingham,
Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck
And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac.
She just kinda smiled when she went by,
and he has road rage and he said look at that Big Fat Bitch
So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went
Big fat bitch
she's a big ol big ol fat bitch
she goes to Ryan's and they say, "Shit!
this one's gonna cost us...
she's a big ol bitch!"
She's a big ol bitch
She sweats grits
you can hide a pound of dope
under one of her tits
Big fat bitch
She's a big ol bitch
Who stole Christmas?
The Grinch
Who stole the Twinkies?
big fat bitch!
She's a big ol bitch

Yeah she had this cajun friend
who had a pet alligator
She ate that some-bitch
like it was a green Now N Later
or a fried green da-mator
You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush
to masterbate her
She's a big ol bitch
She's a big ol bitch
When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that
would say, "hey Wanda!"
And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"
And now her pogo stick says, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
And they go "Bount. Bount."
She's a big ol bitch
She's a big ol bitch
She gargles and drools and spits
and she makes all kinds of noise
She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham
in her corduroys
She's a big ol bitch
She's a big ol big fat bitch!!!!