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Me an Earl was haulin' chickens ona Flat bed outta' Wiggins And we 'as spent all night on the uphill side of 37 miles o' hell called Wolf Creek Pass... Which is up on the Great Divide. We was sittin' there suckin' toothpicks Drinkin' Nehis an' onion soup mix, An' I says Earl, let's mail a card to mother and send them chickens on down t'other side, Yeah let's giv'em a ride. Chorus- Wolf Creek Pass way up on the Great Divide Truckin' on down the other side. Well Earl put down his bottle An' mashed his foot down on the throttle Then a couple of boobs and a thousand cubes of a 1948 peterbuilt screamed t' life. We woke up the chickens. We roared on off of that shoulder sprayin' pinecones, rocks, and boulders, and put 400 head of them Rhode Island Red and a couple of burned out roosters on the line. Look out below cuz here we go. Chorus Well we commenced to truckin' and them hens commenced to cluckin'. Then Earl took out a match, scratched his pants and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff, 'says My ain't this pertty up here. I says Earl this hill can spill us, you better slow down, you gonna' kill us. Just make one mistake an' it's the pearly gates for them 85 crates o' USDA approved cluckers. You wanna' hit second? Chorus Well Earl grabed onto the shifter and stabbed her into fifth gear. Then the chromium-plated fully illuminated genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand. I says you wanna screw that thing back on Earl? Well he was tryin to thread it on there when the fire fell off of his cigar and dropped on down sorta rolled around and lit the cuff of Earls pants an' burned a hole in his sock. Yeah sorta set him right on fire. Well I looked on outta the window an' started countin' phone poles goin' by at the rate of 4 to the 7th power. Well I put 2 and 2 together and added 12 an' carried 5, come up with 22,000 telephone poles an hour. I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide His lip was curled and his leg was fried and his hand was froze to the wheel like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard. I says Earl I'm not the type to complain but the time has come for me to explain that you don't apply some brake real soon, their gonna' have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon. Well Earl rared back, cocked his leg, stepped down as hard as he could on the brake, pedal went clear to the floor ' stayed right there on the floor. Said it was kinda like steppin' on a plum. Well from there on down it just wasn't real pertty, it was hairpin county and switchback city. One of 'em looked like a can full of worms, another one looked like malaria germs. Right in the middle of the whole damn show was a real nice tunnel now wouldn't you know. The sign said clearance to the 12 foot line but them chickens was stacked to 13-9. Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred and ten like gas throuugh a funnel and eggs through a hen. We took that top row of chickens off slicker than scum off a Louisiana swamp. Went down an' around an' around an' down we ran outta ground at the edge of town and bashed into the side of the feed store in downtown Pagosa Springs. Chrous (repeat) |