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well, ya got trouble, my friends right here, i say trouble right here in river city why, sure, i'm a billiard player, certainly, mighty proud to say i'm always mighty proud to say it i consider that the hours i spend with a cue in my hand are golden help ya cultivate horse sense, and a cool head, and a keen eye ya ever try and take and give yourself an iron-clad leave to yourself from a three rail billiard shot But just as i say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balkline game i say that any boob can take and shove a ball in a pocket and i call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- i say first Medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle then the next thing ya know your son is playin' for money in a pinched-back suit listenin' to some big outta town jasper, hearin him tell about horse race gamblin' not a wholesome trottin' race, no, but a race where they set down, right on a horse like to see some stuck-up jockey boy settin' on dan patch, make him look-boy, well i should say now, friends lemme tell ya what i mean ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets on a table pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum with a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool and all week long your river city youth will be fritterin' away i say, your young men'll be fritterin' fritterin' away their noontime, choretime, suppertime too get the ball in the pocket, nevermind gettin' dandelions pulled, or the screen door patched, or the beefsteak pounded nevermind pumpin' any water till your parents are caught with the sistern empty on a saturday night and that's trouble, oh yes, you got lots and lots of trouble, i'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers, shirttailed young ones peekin' in the pool hall window after school ya got trouble, folks right here in river city trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool now, i know all you folks are the right kind of parents, i'm gonna be perfectly frank: wouldja like to know what kind of conversation goes on while they're loafin' around that hall they'll be tryin out Bevo, tryin' out Q-Bebs, tryin out Taylor Maids like cigarette feinds, and braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up a telltale breath with sensen one fine night, they leave the pool, headin' for the dance at the armory, river teen men, and scarlet women, and ragtime, shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter with the arms of a jungle animal instinct, massteria friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground trouble! (oh, we got trouble) right here in river city (right here in river city) with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool! (that stands for pool) we've surely got trouble (we've surely got trouble) right here in river city (right here) gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after school (our children's children gonna have trouble) *in background, Trouble is chanted* mothers of river city, heed the warning before it's too late watch for the telltale signs of corruption! the moment your son leaves the house, does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? is there a nicotine stain on his index finger? a dime novel hidden in the corncrib? is he memorizing jokes out of Captain Billy's Whizz-Bang? are cetain words creeping into his conversation, words like, "swell", and "so's your old man"? if so, my friends, Ya got trouble (oh, we got trouble) right here in river city (right here in river city) with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool (that stands for pool!) we've surely got trouble (we've surely got trouble) Right here in river city (right here) remember the main plymouth rock and the golden rule (our children's children gonna have trouble) oh, we got trouble we're in terrible, terrible trouble that game with the fifteen numbered balls is the devil's tool (devil's tool) aaaaah, we got trouble, trouble, trouble (oh yes, we got trouble, here, we got big, big trouble) with a T (with a capital T) gotta rhyme it with P (that rhymes with P) and that stands for pool (that stand for pool) |