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Lyric provided by www.seekalyric.com |
The Three Irish Tenors & The Muppets (Sound of the Three Tenors warming up) Yon: (Kermit) Scooter! Scooter! Go and get the three tenors. They're on in two minutes. Scod: (Knocks on the door) Two minutes, Mr Pavarot... err... Mr Carr... err... Mr. Tenors. Yon: Scooter. Close the door. Here, here, sit on my lap. You furry four-eyed munchkin. I cannot resist you! Scod: Plácido! Not now! Gatesy: You can't leave him in a room with a puppet for one second. Scod: Ah, remember the Sesame Street incident. Yon: (Scooter) I'll just tell Kermit you're ready. (Kermit) It's the Muppet Show! And here now on stage, singing Ernie the Sixteenth from Tosanini. Scod: (Floyd) Hey Kermit Yon: Yeah, Floyd? Scod: We can't play this opera crap. Yon: What can you do? Scod: Well, all I've got is a Jewel song book. Yon: Jewel... okay, then. (They sing in the style of the three tenors) Scod: I've never met a man like you before Yon: You make me feel like a woman. Gatesy: Oh, have you touched my long blonde hair And read my poetry? The things you do to me. Tripod: I'm a young, attractive blonde who sings country songs Gatesy: To a lonesome country girl this city is tough. Yon and Scod: It's all about the music, stop looking at my cleavage Gatesy: Unlike Kasey Chambers, I am pretty enough, I am pretty enough. Yon: (Floyd) Oh, Kermit, are we getting away with this? Scod: (Kermit) Absolutely. (Waldorf) Hey Statler, why are there three fat men pretending to be a blonde woman? Yon: (Statler) Err... 'cause they're fat? Yon and Scod: Ah ha ha ha ha! Yon: Hey, you can't sing about being blonde! There's only one blonde on this show - moi! Miss Piggy! That's right, Miss Piggy! Yon: I've never met a frog like you before Scod: Ohhh... Piggy... Yon: You make me feel like a pig/woman. When you point your dual-resolution IEEE 1394 PC video camera at me, it's ecstacy. Gatesy: Piggy, get a nice shot of your cankles. Yon: What? Gatesy: You know, the fatty deposits between the foot and the calf. Yon: WHAT? Gatesy: You know, the wrinkly, bulbous, fatty, disgusting... Yon: All right, that's it, opera boy! HAI-YA! Scod: Oh no, we've only got two tenors! Yon: HAI-YA! Scod: Oh, we've only got one left! Yon: HAI-YA! Scod: We're all out of tenors! We gotta find someone with extensive experience working with puppets. Yon and Scod: Come on, Gatesy... Gatesy: No no no, it was a long time ago. Yon and Scod: Come on, Gatesy! Scod: Do it, mate. Gatesy: No way, it was a long time ago! Billabonga! Gatesy: I'm a young magical swagman with a pet bunyip If you've seen that show, it was a bit of a farce. I was young, I was in love, I needed the money When you're in the public eye, your past always bites you on the arse... Tripod: Bites you on the arse. (Gatesy sighs loudly)... |