Don't smoke, don't fight, don't light no cigarettes

Or else you'll wind up in the can

no jokes, don't write, sit tight, don't fool around

you are a guest of Uncle Sam

stand up, look right, don't slouch and stand at ease

and know no sex above the knees

When I snap, you jump into the master plan

I'll be damned

well, I'll be damned

I'll be damned

If I drink or smoke

Damned, if I steal your jokes

I'll be damned

If I go for broke

damned if I do

damned if I don't

Don't talk, don't fool, don't try to mess around

I'll make a monkey out of you

you sign your name right on the dotted line, boy

I'll be damned

I'll be damned

if I drink or smoke

damned

If I steal your joke

I'll be damned

if I go for broke

damned if I do

I'm damned if I don't

come on

I'll be damned

if I drink or smoke

damned

if I steal your joke

I'll be damned

if I go for broke

I'm damned if I do

I'm damned if I don't

I'll be damned

if I drink or smoke

damned

if I steal your joke

I'll be damned

If I go for broke

I'm damned if I do

I'm damned if I don't

I'll be damned

I'll be damned

I'll be damned

I'll be damned

I'll be damned

I'll be damned