I'll hire Dalton, Jack of Spies
To uncover all the lies, all the lies

You think you're all alone
But you're next to the Jack of Spies
The Feds can't close in on him
He's so deeply in disguise

He'll pitsol whip you in the face
And turn you in for the prize
Invest it all in the Dow Jones

You know his stock's on the rise

Who you call when you're in trouble?
Better be the Jack of Spies
Dalton gets there on the double
Rides a bike for the exercise
He'll discover all the secret files
Disappear without a trace
Though you might pass him in a crowd
You won't recognize his face
You won't recognize his face