I'm not a free lunch box car parked in the seat
Dead-end streetcar of desire caught by the tail piece
I'm a jiffy pop tarts are bad for your teen-aged beef

There's a Mando Linda Evans talking on the phone
Call a Porter Wagoner tailor-made underwear
Every dog has his Dayton Ohio Hitler
Says to button your fly Tijuana place a Bette Middler

Oh, drop dead lock stock and bugle coral reefer man
Every Marlon Brando gave him a great big handstand
What a lumpy guy lumbago embargo fish pants

Is there a Groucho Marxist doctrine in the house
Calls about a lost set of Keystone cops out
The same way you came in through the bathroom wind
Oh look, a rock n' roller skate and all skate slowly

Hey man, a T-bone state of the aren't
You gonna finish your bird in a box
Hey man, your witness to the stand still
Shoulder to shoulder, the burden a box
Hey man, and even Colonel Sanders' daddy
Was a thunder bird in a box

Loose tooth three of a perfect paradiced onions cheese
And beans from another planeteri gargoyle change
Every two thousand smiled at
Linda Evans called again singing happy birthmark