(Harley Allen/Carson Chamberlain)

I woke up the other night lying on the floor
Right beside someone I've never seen before
She said, ''My name's Juliet, and Romeo you ain't.''
That's another good reason not to drink.

That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason not to drink.

I cant go see my best friend, he said, ''Stay away.''
Just because of what I said on his wedding day
He oughta call her Shermam 'cause she looks just like a tank
That's another good reason not to drink.

That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason not to drink.

--- Instrumental ---

I'm gonna sue the city about that policeman
Last night as I left the bar, he stepped right on my hand
He said, ''Are you drunk or blind?'', I said, ''Let me think.''
That's another good reason not to drink.

That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason not to drink.

Whew.
--- Instrumental ---

That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this I'll end up like ole Hank
That's another good reason.
Baby, let me in I'm freezing
Another good reason not to drink...

--- Instrumental to fade ---