Fourteen years, thirty minutes, fifteen seconds I've held this grudge
Eleven songs, four full journals, thoughts of punishment I've expended.

Not in contact; not a letter
Such communication, telepathic
You've been vilified, used as fodder, you deserve a piece of every record.

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
And who's it torturing now with an antique knot in her stomach?

I wanna be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved; clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us.

Like an abandoned house
Dusty-covered furniture still intact
If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it?
Somehow gratuitous.

But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's it weighing down with no gift from time of said healing?

I wanna be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved; clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us.

Maybe as I cut the cord, veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest, dead weight off my shoulders will rise.

Here I sit, much determined
Ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain
How this has entertained, validated, and has served me greatly
Ever the victim.

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down?
This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember.

I wanna be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me, I've not known how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved; clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive the both of us.

I wanna be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me, I've not known how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved; clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive the both of us.