I wanted to et
Some new girlfriends,
So I went and bought
A Mercedes Benz.
A waste of money!
Eight thousand bucks down the drain.

I thought the girl
Would get wild and reckless,
So I bought cultured pearls
And a diamond necklace.
A waste of money!
That cost me four thousand more.

They were returned,
I got no girls.
They repossessed
Both the car and pearls.

I styled my hair
Just like Cary Grants.
Bought a pair
Of those tight new pants.
A waste of money!
Household Finance took my pants.

The female gender,
I just don't get it.
Just when I'm out
Of both cash and credit
I found a honey!
And this is what's funny,
She don't need my money,
She works for Household Finance.