A foot in the street and a foot in the gutter
That's one foot in the morning rain
Just round the corner a hole full of water
And hot dog!, it's a holiday!

Splish splash in a pool or puddle
Don't trip up on a tidal wave
You'll crash in a murky muddle

Then you'll know how it feels
To know you're not real

Went for a walk and I climbed up a tower
It seemed like a thousand years
Til I reached the top, oh and I picked a flower
That grew through the stratosphere!

Drop down to a cloud or jet stream
Don't trip up on a weather vane
You'll drown in a world or wet dream

Then you'll know how it feels
To know you're not real

I wrote a letter and I gave it to Jenny
I hoped for some return
Next time I saw her she gave me a penny
Wrapped up in a gummy worm

Run round a field or meadow
Don't trip up on a sugarcane
Fall down in a lazy shadow

Then you'll know how it feels
To know you're not real