You'd already been half an hour with pre-clubbing shower
and I'd always planned to have a look in your special
winnie the pooh book. the place was marked and it was
there in blue and white - it
Said simply, "paul stayed last night."

Next I was on the bog and you got down on one knee.
You were protesting your innocence and you started
to cry as I started to pee.

You said, "i didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
He might as well be a girl,
he's a good for a laugh and he's good for bitchin'."

You said you'd never be willing or able.
And he looks like he was made on a fucking table.
Although, to be fair, I think he hides the bolts quite
well, but as soon as he opens his mouth you can just tell.
I had just assumed you'd completely gone off shagging
and I can you seen you with your new uni pals,
standing bragging. now he's your boyfriend and I know
you were talking shite but you still de
It when I met you at someone's birthday party the other night.

You said, "i didn't shag him,
he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
we have a good laugh when we're sitting bitchin'."

The words that you used to think turned me on just
made me laugh - "do you want to suck my cunt?
" in real life just sounds naff.
And when we were with your friends I just as well might of been no one.
And you can't get over your dead dog - well it takes one to know one.