Sit by me silently and brush my beard
No mess to mop up from the bed today
Will we sit next door and watch the soaps?
We?ve nothing to do and we?ve nothing to say
Oh, when you go

Recently, we?ve been somewhat volatile
And last night it starts with that Joan Osbourne song
I hate it anyway but you made it worse
I know why you laughed and you should know you were wrong
Oh, when you go

Bird number one taught me I shouldn?t trust
That?s why I find unfounded doubts abound
But number two proved that with none, we?ve nothing
And now I?m only happy when you?re not around
Oh, when you go