I fight all the bulls in the streets of Spain
They see me and they just rain on the plain
Because they know that I am a badass

I wear a tuxedo to go to bed
And then Queen Elizabeth gives me head
Because she knows that I am a badass

I stole all the pyramids and never got caught
Got pulled over for speeding, seduced the cop
And sometimes I get priority registration
-on my school schedule

Being this cool might seem hard to you
But I can do it in my sleep
I accomplished more than you will in your life
By the time I was thirteen

'Cause I'm a badass
I'm the biggest badass
I'm the badest badass
In the badass world

I'm a badass
I'm the biggest badass
I'm an internet badass
In the badass world

In grade school band I played the sax
I work for minimum wage at TJ Maxx
And it's because I am a badass

I beat all my friends at Trivial Pursuit
I own all seven seasons of Buffy, too
And it's because I am a badass

You can try your best to be just like me
But I assure you're doing it wrong
I'm 40 pounds overweight
Can't get a date
And I still live with my mom!

'Cause I'm a badass
I'm an internet badass
I'm the badest badass
In the badass world

I'm a badass
I'm the biggest badass
I'm the badest badass
In the badass world