I fucked Helen Keller, made her deaf, dumb, and blind
I fucked Princess Dy while she was trying to drive
I fucked Amelia Ernheart up in the sky
And I fucked the Queens mum at 105

I fucked Katy Perry cuss she's one of the guys
Then I fucked a couple guys, please don't ask me why
I fucked Kurt Cobain right between the eyes
I fucked Amy Wienhouse that's how she died

I fucked a girl who thought my name was Clive
What the fuck kind of name is Clive?
I google searched the name Clive
And then I fucked a guy named Clive

I fucked the oxygen keeping me alive
Then I fucked Paul McCartney for Live and Let Die
I fucked John Lennon 'cause the walrus is I
And I fucked the UN for being allies

I fucked the ointment that the doc said to apply
And I fucked so much weed that when I came I was high
I fucked a lake so hard I drained it dry
Then I fucked Seth McFarlane to be in Family Guy

I fucked Buddy Holly's pilot
I fucked Elvis on a toilet

I fucked a laptop in the back of Best Buy
I fucked Conan O'brien, for a high five
I fucked my waitress for some free apple pie
I fucked a honey badger to feel alive

A fucked a car salesmen on the test drive
Fucked the optometrist for fixing my eyes
I fucked the counter girl in Macy's when i bought a tie
Then i fucked Dr. Mooch for eating my fries