I pulled into Memphis, I could not slow down

My brakes were gone, I wrecked the car...fire on the ground

Then my car exploded and the flames licked my chin

And my life flashed before my eyes like an X-rated film

Like a poison arrow my soul shot through the sky

Landed there at heaven's gate, much to my surprise

And an angel with a halo walked up and said, "Hey, dude!

Welcome to Heaven...we've got this glass of milk for you."

(Chorus)

I said, "Hey St. Peter, won't you open up your gate...

I hear the Devil calling, now please don't make me late.

He's got loud guitars, alcohol, cheap Jamaican whores...

I don't want to stay in Heaven no more."



Well, Satan came a-running, said, "Hey, that boy is mine!"

He had a John Hiatt T-Shirt and trouble in his eye

Then the Devil on Cloud 7 and St. Peter on Cloud 4

Played a hand of poker, and the winner gets my soul



Chorus



Well the last thing I remember, Satan held two Jacks

And I woke up in the back of a Memphis ambulance

And I do not know for certain which cards St. Peter held

So I'm breaking all ten commandments to make sure I go to Hell



Chorus