We started in the morning, carried well into the night
Throwing dirty dishes with all our might
Sad commentary on a marriage that has failed
I'm at home getting hammered while she's out getting nailed

Police pulled into my trailer park
Domestic violence cost [Incomprehensible] after dark
Late night with her boss, says they're trying to make a sale
I'm at home getting hammered while she's out getting nailed

I'm at home drinking whiskey in my easy chair
Watching Jerry Lawler pulling Andy Kauffman's hair
Had a suspicion, so I opened up her mail
I'm at home getting hammered while she's out getting nailed

She used to bring me beer and love all over me
Right before I went on disability
My wiggler ain't so straight, I got whiskey dick
She don't perk it up 'cause, 'cause her ankles got so thick

Well, the moral of this story is sad but true
I love to drink and she loves to screw
Hobo's got a better life, riding on the rails
I'm at home getting hammered while she's out getting nailed