This next song is from a record breaking show

And it really set a record

It lasted nine previews and one performance

This is true, so I feel it's an important show

And the name of it was 'Another evening with Harry Stoons'

Oh, you remembered

Hmm, well, anyway, here's the main song from it

Call me a boob

Call me a schlemiel

Call me a brain

With a missing wheel

Call me what you will

But nonetheless, I'm still in love with Harold Mingert

And it's not because he has a car

Arnie Fleischer has a car, but a car is just a car

And if Harold didn't have a car to his name

I guess I'd love him just the same

Call me what you will

But nonetheless, I'm still in love with Harold Mingert

And it's not because he has a wealthy family

Arnie Fleischer has a wealthy family but money isn't everything

And if Harold didn't have a dime to his name

I know I'd love him just the same

But sometimes, I ask myself

Why then, do I then love Harold Mingert

Harold isn't handsome or clever or smart

And I don't find romance and a dance in his heart

The only answers I can think of

Are Harold Mingert's money and Harold Mingert's car

Call me what you will

But nonetheless, I'm still in love with Herscher Mingert

Also Arnie Fleischer