Have you seen that dog? I gotta get him back.
I had him tied to a tree, but he keeps getting out.
He's probably running loose with the bitches.
And when I catch him, I'll give him some stitches.
Oh I love him so much. Oh that stupid bitch is mine.
Errant dog! Errant dog!

They're talking down at the spa, now the word is out.
God damn I look like a jewel when he goes running around.
Gonna take him on Court TV
And show the world what he's done to me.
Oh I'll drag his ass back home, back where his ass belongs.
Errant dog! Errant dog!

He's my everything, he means the world to me.
He's my hopes and dreams, tangible property.
Sometimes I wonder why I put up with his shit.
If I could, I would become a lesbian.
I know I said dead or alive, but really dead is fine.
Just bring him here.
Errant dog! Errant dog!