Man, you're really one heck of a guy
Best friend since Jr. High
You showed me Playboy for the very first time
That was rad

We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the front row
I pierced your ear right before the show
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know, whoa

Whoa, your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
(Just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com?
Now your stuck with her
Like mellencamp is stuck with cougar
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

I met her at a kegger passed out in the yard
Getting in her pants wasn't really that hard
Six months later she crashed my car
That was rad

She's got a glow from her spray on tan
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band
I really think she mite worship satan
Not a fan

Whoa, Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
(Just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You should run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com?
Now she's stuck with you
Like a frat guy with a bad tattoo
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover
You deserve each other
A lethal weapon when you take her home to meet your mother
She was a superstar
Backseat of my car
Those days are over now, but life goes on, yeah

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
(just wanna get some?) (just wanna get some?)
Yeah

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com?
Now your stuck with her
Like melincamp is stuck with cougar
Like number two on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion (luckiest loser)
I know you know she used to be my girl (luckiest loser)
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
(Luckiest loser)
And did I mention that you both suck?