(Brad Paisley)

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size.

Well, I've been known to cause a few break ups
And I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work.

Chorus:
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been makin' the bars lots of big money
And helpin' white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol, alcohol.

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrasing speach
And also for those naked pictures
Of you at the beach.

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head.

Chorus:
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been makin' a fool out of folks just like you
And helpin' white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol, alcohol.

Chorus:
Yeah, since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been makin' the bars lots of big money
Helpin' white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol, alcohol...