Look at my mama
Look at my pop
Look at my brother
Making them little girls' jaws drop
Look at my sister
So beautiful to see
What the hell happened to me?

Got a big-ass nose
Fat gaps in my teeth
Hair coming out of my ears
And big old stinky feet
I swear the girl at the gate
just gagged when I gave her my I.D.
What the hell happened to me?

What the hell happened
I wish I knew
What the hell happened
Not so much I can do

Got Gable and Lombard
For a mom and a dad
Got a brother braggin'
'Bout all the ass he's had
Must've been stuck in the shallow end of the pool of genes
What the hell happened to me?

What the hell happened
I wish I knew
What the hell happened
Not so much I can do