Jerking off five times a day.
My parents seem to think I'm gay.
I don't know what to say.
I just wanna get laid.

I can't take it anymore.
Gonna go out and find a whore.
Guess I have to face the fact.

Chicks don't dig me.
Chicks don't dig me.
Chicks don't dig me.
All they ever want to do is BITCH!

Want do they want me to be?
A real man with sensetivity?
Baby if we'll just spend the night.
I'll be anything you like.

I don't know what to do.
I just wanna get screwed.
Guess I have to face the fact.

Chicks don't dig me.
Chicks don't dig me.
Chicks don't dig me.
They're all nothing but a bunch of SLUTS!

[Bridge]
Mommy and Daddy bought me a real nice car.
(I've) got a cool pad with a waterbed.
Monday I'm gonna work off this gut.
Maybe if I had a tattoo, chicks might think I was cool, in my head...

Chicks might dig me.
Chicks might dig me.
Chicks might dig me.
I can only get them DRUNK!

Jerking off six times a day.
My parents still think I'm gay.
I don't know what else to say
I just gotta get laid.

I can't take it anymore.
Gonna go out and find a whore.
Guess I have to face the fact.

Chicks don't dig me.
Chicks don't dig me.
Chicks don't dig me.
Maybe if I wasn't such a DICK!