Grab this dildo baby
and take it home with you
But remember it can't
do all the things a man do

It can't get wet
Can't get rough
Can't play bondage games
Can't slap your ass
Or pull your hair
Or call you dirty names

So when you need some lovin'
All night I'll stick around
Cause unlike that dildo baby
I'm a man that does slow down
(down)
Like Argentina
(down)
Like Columbia
(down)
Like the Panama Canal
(down)
Like with the penguins
(down)
Where the fuck are the penguins?
(down)
I wanna see some penguins!
(down)
Alright turn the music down
(down)
I roll my R's (Carlos rolling his R's)