Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

We're a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians

Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation

We make our home in Victoria Grove

This is merely our centre of operation

For we are incurably given to rove

**

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner

*Their* minds made up that they won't get thinner

On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens

*Then* the cook will appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow,

"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!

*The* joint has gone from the oven like that!"

The family will say, "It's that horrible cat!

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time you would say it was luck

And some of the time you would say it was weather

We go through the house like a hurricane

And no sober person could take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?

Or could you have sworn that it *might have been* both?

And when you hear a dining room smash

Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash

Or down from the library there comes a loud ping

From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming

The family will say: "Now which was which cat?

It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer!"

And there's nothing at all to be done about that!

*And there's nothing at all to be done about that!*