SALLY (spoken)
"Oh, yeah. That's what you think."

SCHROEDER (spoken)
What?

SALLY (spoken)
That's my new philosophy: "Oh, yeah? That's what you think!"

SCHROEDER (spoken)
Well, why are you telling me?

SALLY (spoken)
What?

SCHROEDER (spoken)
Why are you telling me?

SALLY (spoken)
"Why are you telling me?" I like it!
That's a good philosophy: "Why are you telling me?"
Why are you telling me?"

(sung)
"Why are you telling me?"
My new philosophy
The teacher gave a "D" on last week's homework
She said, "Miss Sally Brown,
Your grades are going down."
I could have told her-

SCHROEDER
You new philosophy?

SALLY
My new philosophy!
(as teacher)
Miss B?
(as herself)
I'm she

Look see.
A "D?"
A "D."
Well, why are telling me?
And that's my new philosophy!

SCHROEDER
That's your new philosophy?

SALLY
Why are you telling me?
My new philosophy!

SCHROEDER (spoken)
That's great, Sally, but I've gotta go practice Chopin's
Nocturne in B-Flat minor.

SALLY (spoken)
No!! I like it!
"No!"
That's a good philosophy.
"No!" "No!" "No!"

SCHROEDER (spoken)
That's you new philosophy, huh?

SALLY (spoken)
Yes... I mean-- "No!"

(sung)
Just like a busy bee
Each new philosophy
Can fly from tree to tree and keep me moving
When life's a dizzy maze
On alternating days
I choose a different phrase-

SCHROEDER
Your new philosophy?

SALLY
My new philosophy!

SCHROEDER
Sally!
Some philosophies are simple:
"Man does not live by bread alone." (spoken)
Some philosophies are clear:

SALLY (spoken)
"Leave your message at the sound of the tone."

BOTH (sung)
Some philosophies pick and choose
Deciding what goes in it.

SCHROEDER
Some take a lifetime,

SALLY
Mine take a minute.

SCHROEDER (spoken)
But, Sally, anything that takes only a minute can't be
very lasting. For instance, Beethoven took over two years
to complete his brilliant Ninth Symphony.

SALLY (spoken)
"No!"

SCHROEDER (spoken)
I can't stand it!

SALLY (spoken)
"I can't stand it!" I like it!

(sung)
It's like a gurantee.
My new philosophy.

(spoken)
And things are sure to be a whole lot brighter
"Oh, yeah? That's what you think!"
"Why are you telling me?"
"No!"
"I can't stand it!"

(sung)
Now life is free and easy,
Much more philosophy-zy,
With my brand new-

(spoken)
You know, someone had said that we should live each day as
if it were the last day of our life.

LUCY (passing by and overhearing)
Aaugh! This is the last day!! This is it!! I only have
twenty-four hours left!! Help me! Help me! This is the last
day!! Aaugh!

SALLY (spoken)
Clearly, some philosophies aren't for all people.

(sung)
And that's my new philosophy!