He was a wonderful man to lose
But I bet you I can fill his shoes
While you're on the rebound
I'll keep your feet on the ground
I'll be your new Tom Cruise

I'll read you books by L. Ron Hubbard
I'll hide a few good men in the cupboard
I'm going to go far
Jumping up on the sofa
I'll be your new Tom Cruise

I'll do anything to keep us hitched
I'll even try to overlook Bewitched
I've got to hand it to you
BMX Bandit to you
I'll be your new Tom Cruise

We'll star in dissapointing movies together
Eyes wide shut or whatever
And at the very last stage
I'll quit for someone half your age
I'll be your new Tom Cruise

Oh, it's a mission, impossible to lose
Yeah and I'll be your new Tom Cruise