Verse 1

Old lady crossing the road with her grocery bags in tow
I guess No Frills had a sale on ice cream again
Well call your family or a taxi just get the hell out of my way
Looks like I'm late for work again today

Chorus

Why do you walk so slow, right where I want to go (4x)

Verse 2

Well Jack has been into the Jack Daniel's again
And I don't know if he knows he
is standing in the middle of the road
Hey mister call your sister get her
to take you to the local liquor store
If you don't get the fuck out of my way
you won't drink forties no more

Chorus

Verse 3

Old man out in the rain,
tryin' to cross the road with a walker and a cane
Oh, could this day go any further down the drain
Old man who let you out of the old folks home
Just cause you're ancient doesn't mean that
you can go two in a forty zone

Chorus