Act the fool, play the calf, and you'll always have the last laugh.
Wear the cap and the bells and you'll rate all the great swells.
If you become a doctor, folks'll face you with dread.
If you become a dentist, they'll be glad when you're dead.

You get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head.
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
Be a clown, be a clown, all the world loves a clown.
Be a crazy buffoon and the 'demoiselles 'll all swoon.

Dress in huge baggy pants and you'll ride the road to romance.
A butcher or a baker, ladies never embrace.
A barber for a beau would be a social disgrace.
They'll come to call if you can fall on your face.

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
Be a clown, be a clown, all the world loves a clown.
Be the poor silly ass and you'll always travel first class.
Give 'em quips, give 'em fun and they'll pay to say you're A-one.

If you become a farmer, you've the weather to buck.
If become a gambler you'll be struck with your luck.
But jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck.
Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.