Well never put your hat on the bed son
Never put your hat on the bed
Cuz if your hats on the bed
You might wake up dead
So don't you ever put your hat on the bed

But If you do be sure it's upside down son
If you do be sure it's upside down
Cuz if there's any doubt it keeps the luck from running out
So if you do be sure its upside down

And never throw a match when its dry son
Never throw a match when its dry
Don't you ever throw a match cuz the grass might catch
And burn three counties when its dry

And Always keep an edge on your knife son
Always keep an edge on your knife
Cuz a good sharp edge is a mans best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life
Yes a good sharp edge is a mans best hedge
Against the uncertain beggaries of life
But I never could sharp an old knife
Like the one who gives the advice

Well never sell the old 22 son
Never sell the old 22
Cuz the old 22 has shot a gopher or 2
So never sell the old 22

But aim it to the left a little low son
Aim it to the left a little low
Cuz the old iron site fires high and to the right
So aim it to the left a little low

And always tip the glass when you pour son
Always tip the glass when you pour
Cuz if you don't tip the glass
Then the foam it comes fast and runs from the table to floor

And Always keep an edge on your knife son
Always keep an edge on your knife
Cuz a good sharp edge is a mans best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life
Yes a good sharp edge is a mans best hedge
Against the uncertain beggaries of life
But I never could sharp an old knife
Like the one who gives the advice


Well be sure to put your horse away dry son
Be sure to put your horse away dry
Because a hot wet horse ain't healthy of coarse
so be sure to put your horse away dry

And be sure to thaw the bit when its cold son
Be sure to thaw the bit when its cold
Cuz if you don't thaw the bit then your pony's tongue sticks
To the frozen mettle bridle when its cold

Never judge a man by his clothes son
Never judge a man by his clothes
You got to look through the dirt
And lord judge him by his work
So don't you never judge a man by his clothes

And Always keep an edge on your knife son
Always keep an edge on your knife
Cuz a good sharp edge is a mans best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life
Yes a good sharp edge is a mans best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life
But I never could sharp an old knife
Like the one who gives the advice
And I never could sharp an old blade
Quite the way he said