There's so much life going on at the diner ‘cross the street
Three dozen eggs piled up waiting to be beat
“Coffee black…whiskey down…split pea soup--no rocks”
And I know all the lingo ‘cause I go there a lot

I wish I had me a real job like waiting tables
No more vans and travelling bands, I need something stable
I wish I had me a real job at the diner across the street
Where I could meet a late night girl who doesn't eat meat

I get so sick of whiskey swilling chicks at all the clubs
But I take them out after the show all scrambled up
They're all impressed…think i'm a star…i know the waiters by name
But in my mind I've cleaned the plates and pumped a lot of pain

I wish i had me a real job like waiting tables
No more bands and travelling, man, I want something stable
I wish I had me a real job at the diner across the street
Maybe I'd meet a late night girl who likes me