The "product" we refer to is well equipped inthe service abilities of your common woman.
Though in our opinion (and many others) we have manufactured her to be far superior to that of any "common" woman.
There are or course risks to be taken, though we rarely receive complaints from our clientele.

(that unreadable fine print)

Defective product
Has been known to wreak havoc upon small villages and town folk.

(make that sweet green philosophical love)

Just sign here, initial here, then sign here, here, and here.

(your signature waives responsibility from Jones Inc. we apologize for any inconvenience)

Twelve months later...
Client: She's falling apart and she's killed my dog.
Sales Representative: (silence)
Client: You know that once she swam in beauty?
Sales Representative: That's true.
Client: Well, where did it go?