Maurice: Help, someone help me! Please!
Lefou: Maurice?
Maurice: Please, please, I need your help.
He's got her, he's got her locked in the dungeon.
Lefou: Who?
Maurice: Belle! We must go, not a minute to lose.
Gaston: Whoah, slow down Maurice. Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?
Maurice: A beast! A horrible monstrous beast!

*laughter*

Man1: Is it a big beast, you?
Man2: With a long ugly snout?
Maurice: Hideously ugly.
Man3: And sharp cruel fangs?
Maurice: Yes, yes! Will you help me?
Gaston: Alright old man. We'll help you out.
Maurice: You will? Oh thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!

Man1: Crazy old Maurice...he's always good for a laugh.

Gaston: Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?
Crazy old Maurice...
*singing* LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

Lefou: A dangerous pastime

Gaston: I know.
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan

Gaston:
If I . . . (whisper)

LeFou:
Yes?

Gaston:
Then we . . . (whisper)

LeFou:
No! Would she . . .

Gaston:
(whisper) Guess!

LeFou:
Now I get it!

Both:
Let's go!
No one plots like Gaston

Gaston:
Takes cheap shots like Gaston

LeFou:
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

Chorus:
So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating
My, what a guy
Gaston!