[Announcer]
And now, the six merry murderers from the Cooke county jail in their rendition
of The Cell-block Tango.

[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.

[June]
Squish.

[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.

[Velma]
Cicero.

[Mona]
Lipschitz!

[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.

[June]
Squish.

[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.

[Velma]
Cicero.

[Mona]
Lipschitz!

[All Murderess's]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

[Velma]
I betcha you would have done the same!

[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.

[June]
Squish.

[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.

[Velma]
Cicero.

[Mona]
Lipschitz!

[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.

[June]
Squish.

[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.

[Velma]
Cicero.

[Mona]
Lipschitz!

[All Murderess's]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

[Velma]
I betcha you would have done the same!

[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.

[June]
Squish.

[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.

[Velma]
Cicero.

[Mona]
Lipschitz!

[Liz, girls]
You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So, I came home this one day and
I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie
layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Popin'. So,
I said to him, I said, "Bernie, you pop that gum one more time..."
And he did!
So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots...
...into his head.

[All Murderess's]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

[Annie]
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he
was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd
go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix Him a drink, we'd have dinner.
And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he
married. ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night when he came home from work. I mixed him his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!

[All without Annie]
Hah! He had it coming / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,
He had it coming / Cicero, Lipschitz!
He took a flower
In its prime
And the he used it / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,
And he abused it / Cicero, Lipschitz!
It was a murder
But not a crime!

[June]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my
own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been
screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept on screamin' "You
been screwin' the milkman," And then he ran into my knife! He ran into my
knife TEN TIMES!

[All Murderess's]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[Hunyak]
Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmagyarazni de nem
ertettek meg...

[Roxie Hart]
Yeah, but did you do it?

[Hunyak]
UH UH, not guilty!

[Velma]
My sister, Veronica, and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie,
traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20
acrobatic tricks in a row, one, two, three, four, five... Splits, spread
eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one
night before the show we are in a hotel Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up
in a hotel room, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I
went out to get some. I come back, open the door And there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen -the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't
remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my
hands I even knew they were dead.

[Velma, Girls]
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along.
I didn't do it/ She does not do it
But if I'd done it (she'd done it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They took a flower
All along
In its prime
I didn't do it
And then they used it
But if I'd done it
And they abused it
How could you tell me
It was a murder
That I was wrong? / But not a crime!

[Mona]
I love Alvin Lipschitz More than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic
guy... Sensitive...a painter. He was always trying to find himself. He'd go
out every night looking for himself and along the way he found Ruth, Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw
himself as alive and I saw him dead.

[All Murderess's]
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

[All without Mona]
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
All along
All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
And they abused us
How could you tell us
How could you tell us
That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?

[Velma, June, Hunyak]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!

[Liz]
You pop that gum one more time!

[Annie]
Single my ass.

[June]
Ten times!

[Hunyak]
Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe.

[Velma]
Number Seventeen - the spread eagle.

[Mona]
Artistic differences.

[All]
I betcha you would have done the same!