Loudly let the trumpets bray
Tum Tum Tara, Tum Tum Tara
Ladies and gentlemen we present for you now the lost songs of
Gilbert and Sullivan's "Mikado". These songs were censored at
the time by Queen Victoria herself because of their intense
political and revolutionary nature. We present them to you now,
translated from the original Japanese.
Loudly bang the sounding brasses
Bom Bom Babom Bom Bom Bom
Can we walk hand in hand through the park?
We'll whisper sweet nothings and love sonnets by the bard
It's a love I'll know will always last
If we walk hand in hand through the park

Shall we stroll along the promenade?
I shall buy you ice-cream treats and shield you from the sun
My heart beats louder than Venus did for Mars
Shall we stroll along the promenade?
Me lord, High executioner!
Can you staple-gun my genitals to the wall?
I wouldn't normally beg but I've been a trifle tense
We could both have a ball
If you staple-gun my genitals to the wall