I know a guy who
Goes to shows
He makes me coffee
He makes me toast
He don't use butter
He don't use cheese
He don't use jelly
Or any of these
He uses vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline
I know a guy who
Goes to shows
But when he's at home and
Blows his nose
He don't use tissues
Or his sleeves
He don't use napkins

Or any of these
He uses magazines
Magazines
Magazines
Magazines
I know a girl who
Reminds me of cher
She's always changing
The colour of her hair
She don't use nothing
From the store
She likes to keep her hair / real orange
She uses tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines